Dealing with Aging Parents Finances - Part 1

Let me say up front this is strictly based on my experience in having both of my parents pass away in the past year. Yours may vary. Also, I am not a financial or legal expert. I am just trying to give some direction to others in this situation. I know having this information up front would have been helpful to me.

You may possibly run into the situation where your parents don’t want to even discuss this. It may be from embarrassment, the fact they don’t want to admit their mortality, or they simply can’t accept their children helping them (in a role reversal). Be patient with them. You may want to broach the subject by telling them about others you know who didn’t do this and how difficult it is to deal with in additional to the emotion of losing a parent (most people know somebody who has gone through this).

First, do you parents have a will? If not, they really need to get one. It isn’t as big a deal if both parents are living (assuming they own everything jointly or they are in a state that recognizes community property). If however, only one of your parents is alive not having a will can cause the assets of their estate to be distributed by law which may not match what their real intent was. The probate court will want the original copy of the will (I’ll discuss probate in another blog post). It also a good idea to read the will so that you’ll know who the executor is and have an idea of their directives. You can either have a lawyer do this or download from one of the several legal form type web sites. This can be complex so I would recommend a lawyer if you can afford one.

Secondly, each parent should have a Living Will. This will dictate what measures should (and should not) be taken in medical situations. This is especially important in situations where a parent may be close to death and not able to speak for themselves. The person assigned the responsibility for carrying this out in the Living Will should be someone who can think clearly in these situations and not allow emotions to change the actions stated in the Living Will. This document is a bit less complex that a will, so can probably handle getting a copy yourselves and having each of your parents complete one. In Kentucky, the signatures must be notarized. When a parent checks into the hospital, they will probably ask for a copy of this.

Probably the most difficult document to agree to is a Power of Attorney. This document gives the person designated as POA the ability to act for that person in financial matters. This includes signing deeds, real estate papers,etc. You can even sign checks for that person if need be. You need to have a level a trust with your parents to do this. You should request a durable power of attorney. This means the POA is in effect even should the parent become incapable of making decisions. This document can be done either by a lawyer or downloaded from a legal web site and completed. It requires notarization.

Finally, it is a good idea to know where you parents have their checking and savings accounts, any investments (401k, mutual funds), which life insurance they have and any property they own. You’ll need to know every bit of this to carry out an estate when they pass away. It also helps if one parent dies and you have to help the other parent in carrying out financial matters. You should send every one of these entities a copy of the POA. It can often take weeks from them to process this document. I didn’t realize this and it delayed things when trying to help my dad access some of my mom’s retirement accounts when she passed away.

Next time I’ll discuss the beast that is Medicare.